Ed talks: sexual aftercare
Just came back from a sex-positive city (Seattle, Washington). Running a sexually dominant profile on the major apps led to many a girl asking to come straight over to my hotel room for sex, skipping the wine and romantic patio altogether in place of a quick 5-minute vibe check phone call as they drove to mine. But the question these sex-positive women kept asking and my reason for making this post is: "Do you practice aftercare?" I feel as men we are so caught up getting our orgasm(s) and now making sure we give the woman as many orgasms as possible using the patent pending "ultimate sexual experience" techniques that we are forgetting what comes afterward and losing prospective girlfriends or fuckbuddies and then coming here to ask what went wrong when we only need to follow at least 3 of the 5 steps/activities in any order after sex in to better ensure retention: Having ice packs or heat packs nearby to place on areas that ache her after having her strung up in various sex positions, placed on her vagina or ass if you had been spanking it so hard your hand print is now on her ass. Better yet if you happen to have a jacuzzi or bathtub to soak it which leads to point 2... Showering/ bathing together: washing each other and using her frilly girl soap/shampoo, loofah on her, and taking the time to slowly massage the soap/shampoo on her body/hair. This 100% of the time leads to more sex, at the very least a blowjob if her vagina/anus aches too much for more penetration, just make sure to point the shower head at the wall or something so she doesn't drown lol. Having a snack/drink for her nearby at the ready. This works wonders at retention if you are willing to be the guy who will go the extra mile and ask before the date a seemingly innocent question on what her favorite snack/drink is. Then suddenly having it on the nightstand for her when she comes back from the bathroom or something after sex. I'd unconsciously do this by taking the girl for food after sex to some 24/7 diner, which also works. But let me tell you that specifically for this one girl having the specific dumplings she mentioned as well as the specific brand of sparkling water she wanted on standby post sex drove her over the moon for me. Cuddling/Pillow talk/Massage/Nap: Since these all can reasonably take place in bed I will lump them all together. Pro-tip: no one likes a wet bed after sex, if you can have a full or at least a partial set of clean sheets ready to put on the bed it will work wonders and she will be so grateful to help you put the bed in order. Anyway, yes you want to cuddle your one-night stand/fuck buddy/prospective girlfriend at the very least for 30-45 minutes afterward in a pretty platonic way actually, not trying to finger her and get things going again for another round but with gentle forehead kisses, letting her put her head on your chest as you cuddle up so she can listen to your heartbeat (girls love this for some reason), butt rubs, lite back scratches, slow caresses, etc...I mean you can try to play with clit slowly and see if she's down for another round but if she fidgets as soon as you touch it or is moving your hand somewhere else you already know what the fuck is up and need to calm you libido. So for pillow talk, talk about funny things about you or what has happened to you. I see so many guys tell self-deprecating stories about themselves as an opener or messages on Tinder when this pillow talk is the time to be a bit silly and tell those stories where you weren't exactly the badass that just tore that pussy up moments ago. This will add more layers to yourself with the woman and is especially helpful for bonding with them if you want them on as a fuck buddy/girlfriend. I give self-deprecating stories as an example as telling silly stories about myself is what works for me, but talking about almost anything works, I would not talk about future dates directly but indirectly with future projections e.g. she tells you she secretly likes Dungeons & Dragons and hopes you won't judge her for it, and you're reassuring her and you've never played but are down to learn someday soon. Sex recaps and highlights: talk with her about things like when she enjoyed most, when you enjoyed, what you don't want to try again, what you do want to try, etc I feel like a lot of this stuff is common sense, but if it helps just one person do better retaining his female(s) I feel I've done something helpful