Help me navigate messaging two best friends. I have matched two best friends and sent them both the same opener - 😋
they have conferred with each other and have sent me '😜' back at the same time.
Here are a couple of options i thought of:
send them both the same message saying i know whats up lets save the bs who likes me more ?
send them both different jokes: we should all hop on a zoom call or real life love triangle. ?
or just leave them both on read, don't reply, delete tinder and go live in the forest ?
The reason i sent the same message to them, I had a couple hundred matches to message and i could not be fucked to write messages so I just sent 90% of them the trusty 😋 . (FYI, pretty good response almost half have responded in 24 hours.)
13/1/2024*
I have had tinder on and off for 5 years but never met a single girl from tinder, got numbers instas, had chats but never a meet up, thanks to the free content and guides here i have had my first ever tinder meet up! This girl was pretty invested from the start, I went with the standard location opener. I knew she was in (location) it was on her profile, so just confirmed that and opened the conversation.
She confirms and asks me if I am also, I say “Yes sometimes with work, which is important so we can meet and take over the world.” Confirming I’m in (location), planting seeds for a meet and “take over the world together” 2nd message in and I’m saying we’re going to take over the world. “Who is this guy?” Unique, intriguing and funny.
She’s very receptive to my plans and asks what I do for work, I reference her affection with kinder chocolate in her bio, ‘I run a kinder chocolate factory... gotta stay stocked up for our romantic date’. This shows I have looked at her profile, I’m funny and another soft close but more specific than just meeting it’s our romantic date.
Next, I don’t reply for a couple of days, not on purpose. I continued the conversation with a new topic, that she almost has all my weaknesses, (long dark hair, accent, short, nice bum.) Instead of simping and saying she is perfect and exactly my type, my wording subconsciously makes her think “What have I not got and what do I need to make up for?”
I also say ‘we would have fun together’. Another soft close, she agrees.
Starting the close
I asked what part of town just so I knew her whereabouts and I did not ask straight for the address this might decrease trust and invoke objections
“Feeling spontaneous tonight ?” - (I want to meet tonight)
She says “Yes, needs to fix hair but down for anything” - building the yes train. 1 yes
“Do you like wine?”
Another yes. 2 yeses
Now the hard close: “Let’s split a bottle at your place” This is a sub-optimal hard close but my logistics atm are terrible, also why I built a yes train to make saying yes to this easier.
She airs caution about ‘normally not having guys to her room and can she trust me’ but is not to serious as she backs it up with ‘should be fun tho’
I simply tell her she can trust me. Then flip it on her, “How do I know you’re not a big black man?” - she tells me this gets approval from her flat mates
This shows I am addressing her concerns directly and not joking around it. , it’s important to not progress at the same time as addressing the concern and also flip it on her.
Simple and direct. “What’s your address?”
I let her know a time, secure the number and head to her place.
For me this is the first time I have used Tinder to meet up with a girl so whatever happens it’s a win.
The meet up
She’s small, has a very cute accent from Hungary and is pretty funny. Solid hug at the front door head to her bedroom, We chat and drink wine for a while, maybe too long. I checked out her tattoos and nails, this broke the physical barrier a few times but I just couldn’t find the right time to kiss her. Until she wanted me to crack/massage her back. Only an idiot would miss this signal. Then I got on top of her and massaged away this led to kissing and her riding me but she didn’t want to take her clothes off, not even her top.
She told me she liked being restrained and submissive and also liked to explore new things but it takes time and trust to fully let go of control.
She told me she wasn’t going to have sex with me. Once while we were kissing. And once when she said I could stay round.
I think I was not dominant and flirty enough and did not portray the image she was looking for. I ended up staying there the night which might have been a mistake but I was so tired from being back at work and looking after my cousins and had drank a few glasses of wine so i didnt care. It’s early morning now and she’s receptive to spooning, pushing back onto my dick and cuddling but again did not kiss or talk all morning. Until I left a little kiss goodbye.
I text her I had fun and thanks for letting me stay. I’m not expecting a reply. - UPDATE she text me back saying she had fun too. but 12 hours later, ill follow up in a couple of days test the water for another meet maybe flirt more in text.
Summary: keen girl and invested from the start, with good text progression and closing, however my lack of dominance in person potential made her not DTF. She was mirroring my energy, which was slightly nervous, and inexperienced. but still kissed a alot, made her moan a little and sat on me. so a win.
Lessons:
More clear about intentions before the meetup, sexual or more flirty. - I don’t think this was the issue with not being DTF
Addressed her LMR correctly - she doesn't do hookups - logically dig for real objection, is she worried about me fucking her and then never seeing her again? explain that's not me.
Hold stronger eye contact
More Genuine Complements - sexual or close to sexual. they have to be real.
Touching her leg, and knee, inner thigh and brushing her hair.
JUST GO FOR Kiss assuming touching has been received well
Improve dominance, and in-person flirting - my lack of skills in this area led to her not getting turned on enough to want to fuck.
Assume she wants to get fucked and then overcome obstacles as they arise, not assume she has objections and try overcome imaginary objections.
Big picture, it’s my first meet-up with a girl from Tinder. so pretty proud of myself.
