Old Flame ...need framing help from lords of framing
background - I met her at kink convention over a year and a half ago. We talked for a bit, she sent me her number on a con website and we had really good texts back and forth and a highly charged phone sex call since we couldn't meet. She also sent me bunch of her sexy/naked pictures. She's very submissive and easily accepted me as dominant, is quite kinky and was into me. We never had sex. White girl, short, tattoos, piercings, quite alternative. Right after that one long phone call, I had to travel to Vancouver and wanted to speak with her during that time. But she kept flaking, not answering calls, not quickly responding to texts etc. She acknowledged that in her text. Based on what was going on with my life there, I got really reactive and send her a long dismissive like a breakup text. ( attached). I really did mean/was thinking what I wrote. Did not contact her since then, over a year ago. Thought of her today, and you see the text thread from our familiar meme. She brings up "Your last text was pretty rude". My reading is that she still wants to talk otherwise would have never responded to my texts today, but old issue needs to be addressed. I was planning to address that on the said phone call but now it needs to be addressed over text first and perpahs even on the call. O lords of framing - help me here From my POV she was flaking and I did not like that ( which has since changed being in this program and seeing your approach to it) and wasn't going to put up with it. I was not empathic with her situation, later I saw she had a car accident, totalled her car around this time etc frankly I thought she was hooking up with some other guy at the time, which I still believe was true but I had no right to get aggravated. Anyways - I think this can still work. Here's something I would say but don't depend on what I'm saying. I want your honest feedback, how do I turn this around? -- "I did get reactive and it should have been handled it better. I laid out my boundary to your actions but it was not the right way to do it. I could have been more empathetic to your situation. Now a year later, we both are in a different place" @avilench