Lesson Report (there are no failures): Poor Screening Bites Me with Ultra Prude
Okay so quick lesson report from me since it seems like only a couple of guys post them and I want to add some value. By the way, I don't call them failure reports because to me there aren't any Ls in life; only wins and lessons. This girl was from the https://forums.playingfire.com/posts/cold-approach-texting-not-my-best-work-feedback-welcome post I recently made about a girl I cold approached at the mall. I will spare the screenshot but it was a super easy confirmation text yesterday afternoon (the day before). One thing to note is she didn't respond back until this morning but because I was patient and didn't double text yesterday it worked out fine. I get to the bar and get a booth set up with the hostess before she gets there and follow Indian PE's instructions to the letter about picking a booth to sit on the same side and somewhere without being in the center so it can be more intimate then text her I'm here 5 minutes before out meet time. She gets there on time and looks amazing. Tall blonde personal trainer with a crazy sick body (former college track athlete). Easily the hottest girl I have ever been on a date with (cold approach FTW by the way). She is very smiley and I give her a hug. I have her sit on the inside of the booth and we start chatting while a waitress takes our drink order. We really hit it off in the first 15 minutes. She is laughing and smile and just very natural smooth flowing convo. The chemistry is very strong (our knees are touching and she is messing with her hair and making hard direct eye contact back at me) and then we get into a topic about that she is moving soon to a town about 15 minutes from where she lives now and this is where things take a turn for the worse. She tells me she wants to move closer to "her church". I call back to her mentioning her church in our cold approach interaction and kind of just shrugged it off. So I start to probe since I am not religious and find most ultra religious people to not be my cup of tea. She tells me she has spoken to god many times before and that she goes to church multiple times per week. We then start to discuss some of her beliefs since I am already starting to decide that this is not a long term viable option for me and it would strictly only be a hook up potential due to incompatibility to things I hold in conviction. So I ask her how she feels about gay people (probably a mistake but I have multiple gay friends / family members who I care about and support LBGT rights so its a deal breaker to me) and she tells me she thinks its wrong. She instantly sees my look of disgust and starts to call it out. I calmly just state well we don't have to agree on everything to have an amazing and passionate romantic relationship which she nods to and we change subjects. We get back on track talking about her passions and some other more flirty topics (craziest trip, weirdest first date etc). I then start to ask her some of the sexual leading questions that Indian PE recommends in talking about previous relationships at which point I uncover she is a 28 year old virgin who has never had an orgasm and is waiting for marriage. I cringe internally and decide that this is over but I want to work on my sexual leading questions since that is an area of improvement for me so I ask her some more stuff and she is the most extreme prude I have ever been around. I start to feel I am turning her on though so I decide to stay in the pocket a bit longer. We talk about what she finds sexy about guys (she gets uncomfortable and asks me to use the word attractive) so she tells me what she finds attractive and it is mostly what I expected given her personality. So then I start pressing her about asking if she has ever dated someone like me who is much more confident and direct. She says she has only dated guys who were also waiting until marriage so I laugh and say she would be introduced to a whole new world with me. I start to realize I can probably get her to break her rule but then start to have an internal dialog about if it is worth my time while I converse with her some more. Ultimately I decide if I can get her to agree to have date #2 at my place then I could probably give her an oral orgasm and then its anyone guess on how long she holds out from there. So I seed a 2nd date of me cooking for her about 20 minutes before we were going to leave (I knew I would have to go this route based on our conversation and that splitting a bottle of wine wouldn't work). She says thinks about it for like 15 seconds and I call her out asking if she is too nervous to be at a confident good looking man's place alone and she says yes. She says she would probably end up regretting the evening afterward if she came over considering how different I am from the guys she previous dated (aka all betas). I decide right then that this isn't going to work and that I do think I could get what I want but the juice isn't worth the squeeze. I pay the check and tell her we should get her home. I give her a hug (don't even go for the kiss / makeout) and text her as soon as I get home that I think she's super sweet but that we want different things and that I wouldn't be seeing her again. So what did I learn? If a girl ever uses the phrase "my church" again versus just saying church then red flags should be going off and I should probe in person with some playful teasing questions to screen better. Or at the very least screen better / sexualizing in the texting when I am setting date set up. Abundance Mentality is such a crazy powerful tool. The old me which had a scarcity mindset would have probably tried to make this work since this girl was far and away the best looking girl I have ever been on a date with. However the empowered new me just dropped her the minute I got home because she had deal breaker qualities for me despite the pretty solid chemistry otherwise and my belief that I could eventually get her to break her sex rules. Even a bad date result can be used to practice areas you of the game that you struggle in (in fact it may be the best time to get out of your comfort zone because you already considered the experience a L by not wanting to see her again. If I ever get into this situation again of not wanting to seethe girl again then I will push the boundary of the areas that I need to work on (which currently is sexualizing on a date and holding eye contact). Anyways hope some of these lessons can help you guys in your coming dates. Until next time.