I often use this as a "pulse check" for lack of anything better to say. Often I might match with someone on a Sunday or a Monday and get along seemingly well then send a message like that midweek to try and organise plans in the coming days, but it gets a very low response rate. I'm not sure if it's because the girl has lost interest by then or because the message itself is bland, but you'd think it would at least generate a low effort response if she's still interested rather than silence.
Thoughts/ideas?
This is one of the worst questions you can face, it's like a landmine going off under your feet when you're right near the finish line. I know there are a million topics about this but I haven't yet seen a satisfactory response to it that doesn't compromise your frame. Almost every time I've been faced with this question it's been game over. But I've been thinking about it.
Essentially, the question pins you down to determine whether you're trying to sleep with her, it forces you on the spot to be blunt so she can have a clear reason to say no. I find that giving a vague, appeasing answer like "a cool chick who I get along with" is a dead end 100% of the time, as is any insinuation that you want to sleep with her. Avoiding the question doesn't work either, it makes you sound disingenuous, and that's never good.
So what to do?
There are two ideas I've come up with -
The first is to shock her by offering something well beyond her expectations to the point it's comical, eg "Just the love of my life. Are you her?".
The second is to turn it back around on her and accuse her of what she's trying to filter you out of eg "I just want a woman who won't pump and dump me" or "A woman who loves me for me and not just a sexual object".
I used to go the appeasement route and it failed and reached a dead end almost every time. Every guy is after a "cool girl with chemistry", and chances are she's heard that a million times.
So I'm trying something different. Too early to tell whether it will work as these are convos in progress. Anyone who has any further ideas or critique, love to hear it.
