Title says it.
Context: had date with cute american-born Indian girl. She's basically been sheltered her whole life by her parents. She's about to be 22, just had her first drink few months ago, couldn't watch movies at home, etc. She moved out 6 months ago. She works in tech.
Had boba date with her (she didn't want alcohol/wine as the date). Escalated with leading, going for walk, went to rooftop on my apartment, then to my apartment to watch Harry Potter. She is Harry Potter fan girl. Movie choice was a mistake because she actually wanted to watch every second of it. Slowly escalating physically, cuddling, etc. Then go for kiss, she denies it. Says she doesn't like kissing unless she has feelings for someone. I persist couple times to no avail. We watch rest of movie, more cuddling.
At the end of it we still cuddle for few minutes, now she's on top of me. I go for kiss again and she only wants to do peck kisses, no open mouth/wet kisses, basically not making out. I ask again why and she says same reason and also that she only just moved out a few months ago and doesn't have experience. She hasn't had a relationship before. After a couple minutes we leave and I drop her off.
I'm texting her after and she's down to have 2nd date, we're figuring out logistics. She also said she's surprised I am still texting her after the kiss thing.
Could I have resolved some concern here? Is it anti-slut defense or is she just really innocent from being sheltered? Could she have still been down for sex without making out? Is that even a thing
Ok I'm back. This girl is southeast Asian living in U.S. Pretty sure she was born in Asia and then moved here because I can tell from her English. Don't have screenshots since it's on another phone but essentially we just set up the wine date. I'll be going to pick her up and we'll go somewhere with a nice romantic view of the city. I prefer actually going out to do something together rather than just her come to mine (I enjoy actual dates). So we figured out logistics and sharing wine, etc. and then she says
"Sounds good"
"Just so you know I'm not looking for sex tho"
Maybe they are more reserved when it comes to sex in Asia or something. I'm pretty sure Alex has a video on replying to this but don't know which one. Was thinking I could say one of these:
"Lol get your mind outta the gutter girl"
"Lol I only have sex after 13 dates"
"Lol no worries, I hate sex"
"Lol no worries same here, so what are you looking for"
Or anything else. What would you say?
Met girl on hinge, near exact my type, she has a thing for redheads, ok this is gonna be a layup. We vibe over text, lots of investment from both sides. We setup date for last night after like 5 days of talking on hinge. She asks a favor if I can come pick her up (she's 18, in like first week of college, lives in dorms no car, usually goes for much older guys). I say something like "yeah for sure, but ofcourse.. it'll cost you". Probably shouldn't have said that in retrospect, but she replies "what's the price hun" and I say "guess we might have to find out" and she says something that she's not tryna get freaky on the first date so I say "Freaky? Get your mind outta the gutter girl".
That's the context. We have our date, nice romantic on beach at night drinking wine for an hour, then go to chill in car with some music, start making out and rubbing her pussy from outside her pants. She's totally into it, moaning hot. I end it relatively quickly to not lose any sexual tension from making out too long.
I say let's go, we go back to mine. Put on some random show, watch & cuddle & chat for 5-10 mins. Start making out again, I escalate, start rubbing her body, then her pussy from outside. Then fingering her, she loves it. I think to myself "OK this is definitely going down", and unzip her pants, start pulling off both her pants and panties at same time.
This is first point where she shows resistance. She doesn't want her panties off. I persist a bit to gauge whether she's being serious or just playing hard to get. She's definitely being serious. Ok I ask what's up. She doesn't want to fuck or have me see her pussy because she didn't shave and didn't mentally prepare for a day before having sex and is a bit drunk. I say I don't care if she didn't shave it doesn't matter to me and I try to resolve her other concerns. To no avail.
I pull back for a minute and persist again, same answer. Except this time her legs are literally shaking. I get weirded tf out like she's either cold or terrified. We switch to grinding with her underwear and me naked lmao. She says she has to leave soon, ok. I say "Wanna go down on me", she does, it's nice. Then we dress and leave. In the car ride I try to address what was going on with the shaking, she jokingly said she thought she "might have been joining the me too movement tonight". I'm like wtff no I would never do anything like that ever. This was my first experience getting this much LMR and I persisted way too much. Usually a little persistence works, but I fucked up.
We get to her dorm and chat for few minutes, make out a bit, say we will hangout again on Tuesday. She says "I hope you aren't too disappointed". I say no worries but we can try again Tuesday, she's says yup ok. She leaves and I text her which you can see in the screenshot. She unmatched me very early this morning, before like 6 am and ghosted me. Fuck me. Hottest girl gone on date with. Keep in mind I'm sharing the bad details here but we still vibed after the shaking shit and she went down on me so like she was still into it. Whole night was a good vibe until that 1-2 minutes where I persisted too much. Even after was good vibe so the fact she woke up this morning and ghosted hurts actually.
She was also texting her roommate the whole night to give updates since her roommate is like protective or something. That's cool, smart. Maybe her roommate convinced her to ghost me?
Not sure if she has past trauma. She is from NYC and said it's common there so maybe she's paranoid about it. I don't blame her, I know I persisted too much (even took condom out of box, not wrapper, to see her reaction, she wasn't into it)
Any advice? Maybe wait a couple days and text her from another number?
Update: I said "Stop it you're starting to turn me on now". She replied "men are too easy".
Think maybe I should call her out on her bratty behavior, maybe "Do you always act like a brat" or "You're cute when you try to act tough"
Original post
All in the screenshots. We have an adversarial frame now. Yes I said "If you're too nervous, I'd understand" but it wasn't really as a takeaway but instead to troll. So I'm just sending more troll texts. I probably shouldn't have escalated on the non-compliance after the shower thought.
Thinking of saying,
"Stop it you're starting to turn me on now" or
"Are you gonna be sassy with me now"
Or just take her text at face value and misinterpret that she does actually think I'm fun
Was able to get date setup but her one word replies now seem flakey. Tried pulling back by just saying "Perfect" but as you see she just replied one word again. How should I reply? Was thinking maybe I just say "So tell me about your tats" to get her to invest. Maybe "Love the enthusiasm" ? What do you think?
She does reply pretty quickly so I'm not sure if that's itself a form of investment but still one word kills me
Been wondering about this recently. I have an Android. How much of a negative is it to girls seeing you have Android and green text bubbles? Does that shit actually matter
This might be long.
So matched with girl on tinder over a month ago. Barely chatted on tinder and she then she moved it to snap, cool whatever. She sucks at texting with words and basically only sends pictures. So I kind of got bored but then thought fuck it and asked if she was a fan of drinks and set up a date with her. Chatted on phone night before to build comfort. We have the public date, some flirting, then brought her to private hangout spot on water, chilled in car, watched some shit, finally made move by end, some cuddling and makeout before we left and after we got back. Feels good to make a move honestly, was hard to judge her mood, she plays very hard to get so I thought she was uninterested, but said fuck it and it was worth it.
She still had low investment after that however. Setup next date but she had a bad migraine apparently, who knows if legit. Said ok no worries we'll reschedule. Chatted on phone few days later, we said Monday could work. Ok, Monday comes around, I try to confirm, she can only do ice cream (public date) and not late. Yeah fuck that. I try to smooth say I have ice cream at mine plus some barefoot wine (she said she had liked it before). Then basically got ghosted for day, re-open her next day, she replies she's going through some stuff, I say something like ok what kind of stuff, and she has ghosted until this message (1 week).
Not sure how to reply, how to change her mind or comfort her when she's going through personal things, without crossing her boundaries?
Obviously there was no date planned - assuming she's just playing around here. Thinking of saying "Yes my heart is shattered" and then after her reply say "There is good news however" and after her reply say "I'll let you make it up to me"
Or maybe could do a No phrase somehow
