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Do I jump straight to date plans? Split wine on the balcony? There's no investment here. It's a good opener Alex has, but I didn't think about the outcome here.
This girl on Hinge was sitting on a bench in one of her pictures. I thought I could make a smooth transition based on this https://www.playingfire.com/tinder-openers-guide/ (look at #3) But now I don't know what to say. I can get sexual but that won't make sense. I don't want to be dry either. I'm trying not to fumble the bag here like I usually do.
While I might be able to salvage this, I made mistakes that probably cost me a date. First off, I would like to say that I can't really follow the PWF strategy to a tee because I am currently at home with my parents at 25, and we have a dog and Ring security cameras that would make bringing any girl here uncomfortable if they're away. Secondly, I'm a virgin, so that puts unnecessary pressures on me. I'm on the apps to change that, but I've been meeting more relationship-type women. I am fine with that as that's kind of what I prefer, but I feel like I set myself up for failure when I do. Finally, I feel the need to set up coffee dates because I've always been under the impression that going out for drinks implies you want to hookup right after. I also have never sat at a bar or been to a club. Again, I don't mind that but I also don't mind going slower and not rushing things. Then again, I might be in the minority here. I am open-minded and am no longer as rigid as I was in years past. My style has improved somewhat over the last year, I've been going to the gym, and my bio on the apps (Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Facebook Dating, CMB) has been improved. But my pictures need work. I think the pictures not only repel girls, but make the ones who do match with me flake because I don't look like Drake or show that much charisma in them. They aren't bad, but I'm not standing out with them and they could be better. Without further ado, I'd like to attach the conversation. I wonder if I can salvage this. My initial thought is to do drinks during the week after work, but as I said, I've never been to a bar before and I'm not planning on any kind of hookup because my place is too far away and is essentially a prison.
Did I misread this conversation? The long message you see was because I read somewhere that to build investment you should take the lead in a conversation. It seemed to have worked.
Take a look at this. She is claiming to be busy this week and will "maybe" meet next week. Is this a rejection with low interest? Do I double text next week, or hope she initiates?
Let's say my Tinder has gotten about 50 matches over the past month and a half, with Platinum and about 5,000+ swipes (this is a guess, I need the raw data I requested). I've had only one date so far which didn't go anywhere. The girls I've talked to over the last week or so have put in one sentence or one word responses, and I'm always doing the heavy lifting and asking open ended questions. It's also frustrating because I don't get enough matches to practice game with, but when I get in a flow, I can sometimes convert to a number. Has anyone had experience with this before? Are low investment interactions the norm? In fairness, I haven't taken updated pictures with the suggestions that were given on here and elsewhere. But with the matches I do get, it just seems like an interesting pattern.
I've had about 65 matches and 1 date in the span of a month (albeit with Tinder Platinum, Hinge Premium and thousands of swipes). The feedback and guidance from PWF has been immensely helpful in lieu of my poor social skills. However, I sense that my desperation and inexperience with non-platonic conversation is easily detected by girls that might be into me, even if I try to hide it. This interaction in particular, I feel like I could have done more to save it. I asked another group of people if the last message I sent was weird or not and I got mixed reactions. I went with my gut and I sent it anyways. The reason I sent that message was because: it was on a high point (she's beginning to invest by asking buying questions), and I wanted to pull back we had been talking for about 3-4 days and very infrequently up to that point, the conversation was too platonic and I wanted to change that, hence the "romantic date" statement I was getting nervous that if I didn't make some kind of move, she would move on to the next person. I know believe that I shot myself in the foot. Here are my messages: And this gives you a snapshot into all of my matches and conversations in general. They usually go something like this. Now I would do more flirting and sexualizing, but the few times I have it didn't go well for me. Specifically, a match unmatched me yesterday after I said "you're just my type/can I be honest". So I try to just go the conversation route, but there's no tension involved.
I don't know what direction to take this conversation. The girl looks Filipina so I was going to make an assumption about that. But she's talking about her crazy dog and I thought I'd flirt with that. What do I do?! Also she's under 21 so not of legal drinking age
It looks like this girl is investing in the conversation. I think I can ask a general question now, but I want to make a smooth transition. Dunno if I want to go the sexual route though, because her profile is pretty subdued so-to-speak but I think she looks cute. Still, I don't want to be anyone's friend, so what advice do you have so I don't go into interview/buddy mode?