Please tell me where I messed up

Question
21 Comments
21 Cmts
J

12 Posts (+1)

18 Cmts (+0)

J

12 Posts (+1), 18 Cmts (+0)

I dated this girl for a month during quarantine, but I broke up with her. Few months ago I matched with her on tinder again. After that last message she didn’t respond, so I unmatched. What did I do wrong? Is she completely turned off and if we were to march again, would I have a shot. Would hitting her on ig be appropriate?

1
avilench . Avatar

394 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)

yeah man you messed up with the texting here, the purpose of sexting like that is to give a girl a preview of what might happen but since you guys already had sex it comes off odd.

think about it like this your bestfriend is trying to game you into hanging out, it doesn't really make snse cuz he can just ask to hang out.

you can see she lost interest after that. also asking her what shes looking for doesnt really make sense since you guys use to hang out. at this point if you really wanna keep trying just forget about tinder and text her directly.

also highly recommend getting my app FireTexts by "ZH Creations" to avoid these predicaments to begin with.

0
J

12 Posts (+1), 18 Cmts (+0)

It was quarantine so we never met or had sex

0
avilench . Avatar

394 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)

then you never dated her. you cant date someone that you've never met. but my advice still stands

0
J

12 Posts (+1), 18 Cmts (+0)

We never had sex

0
A

48 Posts (+1), 74 Cmts (+11)

Escalated the sexualization way too fast, and then backtracked which put you in an awkward spot. she already gave you the yellow/red light when you said "romantic sex", but you instead took it as a mega green light and went extremely sexual. the sexting should have been more gradual than that.

reaching out elsewhere is fine imo -- nothing to lose unless she's in your social circle at all

0
J

12 Posts (+1), 18 Cmts (+0)

deleted

0
A

48 Posts (+1), 74 Cmts (+11)

not sure, id wait on alex's response. imo, you already did that so it's unnecessary. if you go the IG route I'd choose swiping on story over dm'ing in this case because it's smoother / more lowkey and then just build the vibe up from there more calibrated this time.

0
J

12 Posts (+1), 18 Cmts (+0)

With respect ofc, when I said romantic sex she said she was yearning?

0
A

48 Posts (+1), 74 Cmts (+11)

she said "romantic sex????" then the yearning thing slipped in. based on her reaction after, i'd say it's probably yellow light. she's not ignoring you but not making it obvious that she wants you to keep going. imo, a potential green light for you to drop that bomb would be something like "mm some romantic sex sounds lovely" or some shit.

i didn't say it was wrong to keep sexting, but you definitely went too far too fast. you could have just started with the first sentence, ended with a "...", and if she bit on that keep going. if you look at some of Alex and Indian PE's other lay reports, they follow a similar pattern -- build up to the sexualization, and if they drop a mega paragraph like that it's usually preceded with ensuring her compliance / interest.

as she said, she wasn't against being sexual, but she was just thrown off by the lack of calibration and how quickly you ramped it up

1
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