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Context: already went out once. She seemed eager to set up another date asap. Then bam flaked last minute. I definitely fked up with my last msg, but I don't think that warrants a flake. She is very much a prude, which is why I waited until 2nd date. Should I call out and ask if she's nervous about something happening?
Ok you didn't necessarily fuck up with your last message (fish cake) it wasn't that bad. However, this seems pretty open and shut to me (in a way) - she spells it out really clearly, she doesn't have the time/mental capacity and whatnot, which if she's really busy makes a lot of sense. There isn't a lot you can do here besides go for a 'hailmary' of sorts, and that would be to get her on the phone and discuss her concerns.
Namely, Dating = commitment, and commitment takes time and effort out of you that you could be putting elsewhere (studies, job, etc.) - to address this you need simply explain that her and you hanging out again and having a good time, vibing and whatnot, doesn't mean you're dating and certainly doesn't mean you have to commit. It's a take-it-as-you-go kind of thing, you have a good time here and there, have some laughs but no need to get serious, emphasize you're not expecting her to put you before her studies or her job, just like you wouldn't put her before yours. Reframe it as something fun to do in your spare time, whatever time you may have, to destress if that makes sense. I would also normally recommend dropping some sexual innuendos/jokes but up to you as you said she was more prudish.
Essentially, having a demanding job, demanding studies, etc. doesn't mean you can't hang out once in a while and have a good time. I want to reaffirm that you have to convince her on the phone because over text it can get mundane and it's not nearly as effective.
Hope this helps, goodluck bro.
The one thing I'm confused about is why she was so invested yesterday but suddenly changes her mind in < 24hrs. First time I've encountered this type of 100 to 0 behavior in such a short amount of time.
It's one of those things you won't really know. She could be very busy, could have met someone else, could have decided she just wasn't into you. I wouldn't waste too much time ruminating over it, although I know it's disappointing. Follow up in a few weeks if you really like her. On to the NEXT girl.
Yeah man. Since you guys met up. I think it's a lack of attraction. This is why I'm a big advocate of having sex on the first date because it prevents stuff like this. Unfortunately, I don't think there's much you can do in a situation like this
