What do you count as having a bit of a wild side

you are on the right track with inside of the bedroom you want submissive and outside of the bedroom you want someone strong and your equal.

I wouldn't try and explain it as logically (its also a bit incongruent as you did especially since being submissive is not the same as openminded). I also just realized there is a small correction we should have made in your last message. It should have said "a spontaneous girl with an adventurous submissive side behind closed doors." That way it doesn't read as two aspects of the same quality (however I do think she is trolling you a bit).

go with something more simple "someone can be spontaneous out in the world but submissive in the bedroom. I like a girl who isn't closed minded and willing to explore themselves. You aren't closed minded are you?"

when she says no I'm not (or some variation). then you say "perfect, then we will get along just fine. Now more importantly, do you like wine? then go for the soft wine close.

if she nick picks at this point or says she's more rigid / closed minded than I agree with doug and tell her you'll explain more in person on the romantic date you have planned and change the subject. right now you are in a bit of frame battle so its delicate since its easy to blow these out but usually pivoting will still not work out.

You're making a mess of this and it doesn't even make sense. She's just giving you enough rope to hang yourself and you're doing just that. Get out of her shit tests with something like "If you don't understand then I guess I'll have to show you" then change the subject.