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Is there any solution to bitterness ?
Just to give more context - I had four serious relationships so far (the last one was semi serious). All of them ended with the girl going cold & there's always another man in the scene. These have ended quite badly (cheating on / ghosted upon after years of knowing each other)
Apart from these, have gone on many dates with other women who all went cold after that (to be honest I wasn't that into them since they weren't that attractive ). Although I am active on bumble and had met lots of woman there but it's frustrating having to follow up on them / keeping the leads active esp if they are travelling. Out of these some women have been very rude / insulting & some had gold digger type expectations
With such incidents happening repeatedly, I see myself having bitter thoughts & in general I don't have that trust in women when it comes to romantic courtship. Even if I get a woman who fits my type, in back of mind, I have this thought -'It's just a matter of time before she leaves me' or 'like others, she'll leave eventually'. Hence I find it difficult to open up.
Is there any way I can overcome this? This itself is quite surprising, esp since I was sexually active with woman since my early teens (13 yrs) & hence I had positive image towards women but all of these are gone and now all hope seems to be lost.
Damn. That's definitely a bad place to be in. When girls give you gold digger vibes though. Troll them. You have to get better at calling them out when they're behaving a certain way. I'm a fan of extreme ownership. so, when girls have ghosted you, I'd have told myself "I must have done something for them to not give me the common decency for the explanation of the ghost"
As for the cheaters, I'd look for patterns. Are you going for girls with low self esteem who need constant validation or drama? Have they cheated in their previous relationships? Or been cheated on? how did they process it? How do they feel about cheating? If there's no remorse on their end, you know that's a bad choice. And so on... I would really sit down and break down each of these relationships and see what you can learn from them. Women barely do introspection because to them, ignorance is bliss. You have to try to put your ego aside and see what you can learn
Thanks man, appreciate the thoughts. One of my ex did these ghosting (after almost a year). As for patterns, I still need to dig deep to find .
That sort of self-examination well help heal old wounds and establish healthier patterns in the future. It will also be uncomfortable and difficult. I commend you for starting down that path. Be well brotha
