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since 3rd grade i have been a basement dwelling nerd that plays world of warcraft among other games all day. I grew up with a werid mother and a narrcisstic father so i was never soccially conditioned properly and was bullied for being werid my whole life. When puberty came through i lost my baby fat, started gaining 20lbs of muscle every year, and became a sexy beast. a girl for the first time showed interest in me my sophomore year. every chad in school wanted to smash cause she had great tits and ass so fat scientifficlly speaking should not fit on her 100lb 5ft frame. I was hypeed but i never made the move. for a year she would clean and cook for me, drive me all around to do my errands, and didnt date any of the chads that were constantly going after her. Eventually i did something wrong and she didnt want to be friends. i was happy about this because i wanted another chance i knew what i did wrong that time and the place i end up month after month not making the move on a girl that likes you. Too bad im stupid cause i did this time and time again. one of the girls i played this retarded game with has started hanging out with me again. she has slept in bed with me dozens of times, wrapps her body all around me and purposlly shoves her tits and ass on me, talks about all the werid and lame chads that are hitting her up while hyping me up and saying im different. I just sit there and wonder how can u have any respect for me. For an entire month i have dealt with feeling like a pussy for not doing what i know i need to do and you actually think im cool. I need to atleast fuck this girl because im turning 20 soon and i need to show myself there is a different path to take in this relationships. i knew the first day she threw herself in my bed that i need to fuck but i didnt now everyday i think to myself its been to long thats a wrap but everyday a new oppurtunity arises and i go blank and freeze when i know i should be kissing her. How can i overcome this so i can progress in my life. im a 6ft tall very good lookin dude with a lean 190lb body i should be fuckin destorying it out there but im not.
I definitely agree with Alex. I recommend writing down 10 reasons you're amazing and a great person who deserves love and happiness. Continually remind yourself that this is true. You will slowly start to believe in yourself and have a better outlook which is a great first step. I practice not beating myself up by looking at hypnosis' with positive affirmations to remind myself that it's ok if i fuck up and Im still the best. It sounds voodoo and shit but it works, whether by actual effects or placebo
You gotta stop being a pussy. No offense. Just realize that no one is going to do it for you so you can allow your short term fears to get the best of you and live a life of loneliness and sadness or you can man up and conquer your fear. The first time is always the hardest. It gets easier every time
