Key rules for Insta cold DM'ing
As you can probably tell, I'm still quite new when it comes to online dating, and recently just made an instagram account...so its all very new to me, im usually an in person guy.
The instagram is new and i want to try and see what happens when i DM some girls on there. Ive had some good success matching girls on the apps, but im also realistic given that instagram is different, and my profile has two photos and not much going yet in terms of followers etc. Ive already decided if im going to test the waters, to stick to profiles with no more than a few hundred followers, but any advice on what kind of approach to take? Should I keep the same tactical approach as if its a match on a dating app, but catered to the fact that its a cold message as apposed to both finding each other attractive enough to match on the apps?
15 Posts (+3), 479 Cmts (+240)
On Instagram, in regards to getting the convo started, Alex’s “Hey name. I like your style 👌🏼“ is highly effective for me.
But to be honest, as as far as closing and even getting the convo past a few texts, it’s a lot more difficult. I’ve only had 2 girls that was close to a meet up but ultimately didn’t end up. (1 was very recently divorced and ultimately she couldn’t go through with meeting up)
On the apps girls are asking to be flirted with, asked out, etc. On Instagram you are basically a solicitor. Additionally, there’s a good amount of girls that don’t post their boyfriend or make it obvious they’re in a relationship lol so that’s a guaranteed no reply.
398 Posts (+1.3K), 16K Cmts (+5.3K)
IG dm's is a bit different. The opener definitely needs to be lowkey. But also a bit attention catching. Probably a bait like "Can I be honest?" "You know what I noticed about your pictures" or something like that
1 Post (+0), 16 Cmts (+9)
Instagram is tough because your messages will end up in the Requests section unless she is already following you. At a quick glance, if your profile is not captivating enough, someone will just exit and forget about you so if your feed is full of photos of you looking great + captivating you stand a better chance. In general too it will take time to build your follower count, which is easier with aforementioned interesting photos.
Assuming that's there, engaging with her content- commenting on a photo (unless it's a thirst trap), and perhaps pair that with a response to her story is the way I would go. And being patient in general, you have to remember Instagram there's a bit more of an uphill battle given it's not overly a dating app so the unspoken social contract isn't there. Alex talks about that on some of his videos + Interview with Marni