Loading…
Here's the story: Matched with her on tinder and my text game was pretty solid. Got her number and we planned the first date. She ended up having to raincheck so we rescheduled and she ended up confirming on me the day before. On the date the vibe and chemistry was really on point. We split a bottle of wine on my balcony and we talked for like an hour. Took her back inside and we chilled on the couch for a bit while I had my arm around her. Eventually we started making out and we got really into it. She didn't have much time left so I wasn't really pushing for sex but I tried to slide my hand in her pants to finger her while making out. When I tried to do that she said she was on her period. I should have just said I didn't care but I also wasn't really pushing too hard cause I knew she had to go soon. She had work early in the morning. Not too long after that we talked a bit more and I walked her out back to her car. We made out again next to her car and I said something along the lines of us getting together again sometime soon and she said "oh definitely" in a sexy voice. I posted screenshots of our texts after the date. Now she's not responding and I just don't know what to think. I'm bummed cause I actually really liked her
"Thinking hard I see" But yeah man. This has happened to me a 100 times. girl saying she really wants to see me and ends up ghosting me after the sex didn't happen on the first date.
Yeah this is not surprising at all. As soon as I read "we started making out and we got really into it" I knew exactly what happened here. You went past the point of no return and the girl backwards rationalized to herself that she doesn't like you enough.
Yeah bro. I think that definitely could be the case. Should have just told her the red fairy doesn't scare me
You shouldn't have messaged right away after the date - wait at least 1-2 days. Also, for girls dates are not that significant and it shouldn't be for you too. You will get ghosted a lot on these apps (i.e. 5-10 before you find someone good). Everyone does but most guys hide it/lie about it.
so you kind of seeded the next date but you left it too loose when she may have gotten ASL. My suggestion is to make your 2nd date plan a lot more concrete in person during the date.
Example: As soon as you figure out you want to see her again in the 2nd half of the date (if its a date where you aren't going to have sex) you want to mention a plan for date number 2. It can be simple as "have your tried the tacos at ABC restaurant?" or "have you tried the margaritas at ABC Bar?" she will either say yes or no but either way you just say back "Oh perfect, let's go there later this week (or next week depending on what day it is), what's your schedule like then?" Then you lock down logistics before the end of the date. Then its a simple follow up with a date already planned.
Try to do this before the making out starts.
Seeding the next date with a concrete plan during the first date when you're right in front of her will help your retention a lot. Hopefully this one works out for you but if not you will at least know what to do next time.
I don’t think this is good advice..
Locking down the girl on the first date shows neediness and low value. A guy who has a high abundance does not need to secure a chick for a second date on the first date.
You clearly don't know how to retain chics or understand what actually qualifies as needy.
Borrowing a perfect example from Carlos' recent love report.
On the way back I was telling her if she’d ever been to old town, where all the clubs and bars are & she said she hadn’t. She then asks when I was going to take her & then I played coy since I don’t really like going to those places. She then was like “I don’t like that word” Since I said “Perhaps” & had told her earlier that I did not like that word. Then explained how since I work in nightlife I don’t typically like to go to those venues on days I’m not working. I then told her about a great place for tacos nearby where I’m at that we could go to. She asked when, I asked when she was free, & we made plans for this weekend. Dropped her off and she asked me to text her once I got back to my place. Had a little more back & forth over text & sleep was finally had.
What's ASL? And if she doesn't respond what sort of takeaway should I use. I was thinking "Hey, Im going to be honest. I think you’re a cool girl and enjoyed our time together. I wanted to see you again and get to know you even more, but if you’re not interested it’s ok"
When she said “ I can’t I made some plans with friends already “
You should have said “cool, what’s your schedule like next week”
How much time was between the text where you asked her to chill? And the follow up text about Harry Potter?
As a side note if you send a text asking her out and she doesn’t reply, don’t start another conversation like it didn’t happen, it’s really beta
Thursday and then I hit her up today. My strategy was to hit her up, banter a bit, and go for another soft close. Plus I already had a sense of her schedule since we discussed it earlier in the convo before the first date. I thought she didn't respond to the next week thing cause I didn't ask a question, I just made a statement. I figured I had built a lot of attraction too so I didn't take her not responding as an issue and just believed she would respond today. It's just weird that she's just disappearing out of no where
I agree, if/when she responds banter a bit then go again for “ what’s your schedule look like” even if you have an idea, things do change
If she doesn’t respond use a takeaway and maybe that will get the convo back on track
Best of luck bro
Damn. Is there any hope of reviving this
ya this is dead man, sorry.
I wouldn't have sent that going to be honest text. I would have sent either a meme (hey girl or some sexy / funny meme) like 2-3 days after your original follow up or I would have sent sent "don't worry it's not a trick question."
The reality is though she wasn't interested in seeing you again and is just trying to let you down easy. I am not sure what happened on the date but she wasn't feeling it.
You came across as needy and low value imo so probably not
