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The last 5 dates I've been on, I've pulled the girls to my place and they always insist on leaving shortly after I start making out with them. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I flirt with them on the date, my profile is set up to be sexual, The girl and I make it clear to each other that we're not looking for something serious, I give them time (5-10 minutes) at my place before we start making out. They seem very nervous and stiff during the makeout, even though they always go to my bathroom to "freshen up" when we get to my place, like they're expecting kissing/sex.
Without much detail given, are you pushing too hard? Bedroom seduction is a dance. A few steps forward, resistance, a step back, then forward. Always make sure she’s comfortable not only for legal reasons but you want her to have a good time too. Women don’t usually want to feel easy so that’s why you need to always build comfort.
Just had number 6 walk out on me. I'll use her as an example.
She said to me in the middle of the date, unprompted, that she was down to go to my place after the bar. We got to my place, she sat on my bed and we started watching a show we talked about during the date. After a couple minutes, we were spooning and she was breathing hard so I brushed her hair and started kissing her neck. She turned and we started making out. After a couple of minutes I grabbed her ass and rubbed her clit through her jeans, which she was fine with. I started taking off her belt and she stopped me and said she didn't want to have sex tonight, I said "I can't have sex right now, I'm on my period." She laughed and we made out more.
We made out a few more minutes and didn't go for her belt again. I started paying with her nipples but she didn't seem too into it. She stopped me and then asked me what I was looking for and I said basically explained a friends with benefits thing. She said she didn't know what she wanted for sure but she didn't want a hookup. I said I didn't either and she seemed really happy about that and that the "relationship" I explained was what she was looking for too, so we made out again.
This is where I'm pretty sure I fucked up. I didn't go for her belt again because I was nervous she would freak out so We ended up making out for five minutes while I rubbed her outside her jeans. She stopped me again and said she didin't want a FWB (lol wtf?) and that she was ordering an uber to leave.
All 6 of these girls ended in a similar way, I feel like I'm being too beta and not aggressive enough?
I think it's frame and a lack of escalation til end of night.
You keep mentioning "she said this, and then she said that, and she explained she wanted this and that..." What about what you want? Your frame should be going for what u want to the max, then letting go of outcome. Tell her what YOU want if anything, obviously listen to her and respect what she says but....
Leads to my other point, you should be escalating at the bar or at least going for it, touching her,stuff like that which is a genuine expression of your desire for her, never apologize or ask permission just go for it, and obviously respect if she doesn't reciprocate but show a little more balls and proactively showing her youre a guy who fuckin goes for it
Making out lowers sexual tension. An old school move is to stop everything at LMR and just watch the show on the TV. If she starts touching you again then go back and try to go a step further. If that happens, she just wants to know you're cool with chilling out and aren't only looking for sex. Most women don't want to feel like sluts.
how are you going for the kiss? like what steps do you take and ques do you wait for?
i have the same issue bro and according to my analysis i have found out that this happens due to my stiff/too much calculated moves during escalation instead the vibe should be carefree and free flowing i am still trying to achieve this mindset...
maybe someone more experienced can guide us both on this forum...
Agree with everyone else
However, just to cover basis... are you sure you don’t have any hygiene issues? For example, bad breath, smelly hair, B.O., etc.?
I could see myself pulling away from someone if they had a off putting smell
Yes tough love and prob hard to hear but he may just be a bad kisser, or a guy who meekly makes out endlessly without going for more, just shows timidity and lack of balls and leadership, and that'll turn most women off completely.
OP - all these things we're mentioning can be addressed and corrected, but you may need to ask someone you know, who could verify these possible issues, for the brutal truth...and we can help you from there..
as I said in my other post in this thread, I think my problem is endlessly making out without trying to escalate again after she gives me resistance. I already have a FWB so I know it's not hygiene or kissing.
The thing that makes LMR so difficult for me is I can't tell if a girl genuinely wants me to stop or if it's a test of some type. When I'm making out with a girl I can't really think straight so when she gives resistance it's like I'm trying to solve a really hard puzzle while being super turned on. So I just "freeze" and get stuck in make out mode, and don't know what to do next.
If this is happening over and over, it has to be your frame. I would guess that you are coming off as too eager, nervous, and goal oriented. I suggest going on the next date, without the intention to fuck. Make up your mind that you do not care if it happens, that you are there to actually relate to and flirt with the chick, without the need for any one outcome. When you're making out, and you resist the urge to drive so deliberately towards fucking, the girl will be able to feel that and will relax more.
I know what you mean, but I honestly don't feel very needy for sex. I already have a current FWB and the last two girls who gave me LMR and walked out didn't even phase me because I'm so used to it at this point lol
Do you have experience maintaining a girls interest?
Sounds like what KC is saying. Try a few dates with lower value women and focus on flirting so much that they make the first move. Let them sell themself and that’s when you know how you’re vibing right. Prettier girls will not make first move but at least you know you can make them comfortable before attempting the kiss
Also is your kiss super aggressive and do you start groping? When I made a rule to keep my hands to myself during first 10-30 seconds of the kissed it really changed the frame
Good luck man you’re at the final stage don’t give up
Just had number 6 walk out on me. I'll use her as an example.
She said to me in the middle of the date, unprompted, that she was down to go to my place after the bar. We got to my place, she sat on my bed and we started watching a show we talked about during the date. After a couple minutes, we were spooning and she was breathing hard so I brushed her hair and started kissing her neck. She turned and we started making out. After a couple of minutes I grabbed her ass and rubbed her clit through her jeans, which she was fine with. I started taking off her belt and she stopped me and said she didn't want to have sex tonight, I said "I can't have sex right now, I'm on my period." She laughed and we made out more.
We made out a few more minutes and didn't go for her belt again. I started paying with her nipples but she didn't seem too into it. She stopped me and then asked me what I was looking for and I said basically explained a friends with benefits thing. She said she didn't know what she wanted for sure but she didn't want a hookup. I said I didn't either and she seemed really happy about that and that the "relationship" I explained was what she was looking for too, so we made out again.
This is where I'm pretty sure I fucked up. I didn't go for her belt again because I was nervous she would freak out so We ended up making out for five minutes while I rubbed her outside her jeans. She stopped me again and said she didin't want a FWB (lol wtf?) and that she was ordering an uber to leave.
All 6 of these girls ended in a similar way, I feel like I'm being too beta and not aggressive enough? My profile is also pretty straight forward that I'm looking for FWB/casual
