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Theirs two issues with your text game here man. First, is poor closing. You completely skipped the soft close & the part where you try to figure out here schedule & availability and just went straight for the hard close. While that can work, it is equivalent to blindly throwing throwing darts at a dart board. It is much better to be more strategic with the close. Check out my video on this on YouTube.
Second issue, is that you gave up way too fast. She didn't outright say no, she just showed a bit of hesitation. She wanted some reassurance. Instead of saying "Text me if you change your mind" which puts the ball completely in her court, I would've said "It's only 20 minutes, I'll throw in a fat blunt since you're being such a champ"