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[Bit of a long post, but please bear with me] Met this chick on Tinder around a year back, who told me she's just out of a 5 year long toxic relationship, we chatted for few months, after which she told me she's back with her ex. She still continued to message me, and when I questioned about her relationship she says she isnt with him anymore and she wants to meet me. I later visited her town, we met and we made out, later at night we went to a party, where her ex turns up outta nowhere, threatens to get me beaten up, and call his minions. He threatens me that he has some "big contacts in police and govt." and he can do whatever he wants. I talked him down and moments later we were having a smoke, later the girl comes, they had a fight and girl tells him she's done with him (cause apparently he wouldn't leave her and has done that to her other friends as well). He leaves in his car, overdoses on MD and wakes up in hospital next day. Meanwhile, the girl came to meet me next day, we made out took some pics together in which I was hugging and kissing her (which later bit me in ass).
Today after about a week, I'm back in my town, this guy has apparently gotten my number from somewhere and again calls to threaten me, saying he'd found our pics together. Later he asked where I live and he wants to meet me in person. I said we both know I am not gonna tell you that, and talked him down again, (told him I have left the girl and want to do nothing with the two of you), in the end giving a "Friendly advice" to leave the girl as this is making a fool out of you.
My question here is: although I de-escalated situation I feel as if I am being a pushover, I don't know what I would have done had we actually went into a fight or he'd come down here (he could be armed for all we know), but I have this insecurity that I can't stand up against people, I want to let them know that I can do whatever I want (especially since both me and the girl dont want to do anything with him, although the girl sleeps around a lot and has some serious red flags but that's story for another day) and I AM NOT THE ONE TO FUCK WITH!! Nor should he fuck with anyone else for that matter.
How can I be prepared to better handle such situation. I have a hunch this guy might not stop here, and I'd want to deal with this situation without my family ever knowing or coming in between.
I'm no martial artist but the ones I know do everything possible to avoid fights or run away from them. What I can guarantee is, if you get hit in the head with a chair or an iron bar, you'll need to set your tinder radius to "within 50 yards of the rehab center" for the next year. Don't be a fucking idiot.
Don't feed the troll. The more you engage with him the more you egg him on. Block/ignore him. Your tough guy bullshit is dumb. This dude isn't worth thinking about or wasting time on. You want die or go to prison because you think you're "NOT THE ON TO FUCK WITH"? No you fucking idiot. Get that pussy and don't think twice about that clown. DO NOT TALK TO OR THINK ABOUT HIM AT ALL. Period.
You are right! I stopped calling both the girl and the guy sometime back, now he's calling me again. I blocked him on text and calls. What else should I do?
I stopped getting in fights when I was a senior in college when my friends got into a fight with some townies at a party and 2 of them got stabbed in a 5 on 5 fight (one had to be flown to the hospital and barely survived). The point is some people don't have much going on and nothing to live for (the guy that stabbed my two people got 25 years). It's best to block and move on. If he is really harassing you then file a report to the police and change your number.
That isn't beta, its just being smart. Fighting or violence isn't alpha (most of the people I knew that started fights were the opposite and it would be the more alpha dudes that would have to get them out of it) and should be an absolute last resort if your immediate life is in danger in that moment.
Let's say you win, you risk going to jail and being sued. Let's say you lose you could be seriously injured or die. There are a very small percentage of positive outcomes with fighting. Why play against the odds?
Alex talked about this recently on a live stream as well.
Would you prefer coming across as a pushover than being knocked out by a dude? No right? Just don't reply to that girl or the guy. If he threatens you again, go to the cops.
I got your point and what you and others have said is true. Today, she messaged me and we spoke for a while, apparently she's still seeing her boyfriend and that's when he took her phone and tried calling me. I asked her why she's still out with him when she doesn't want to be with him? She didn't take responsibility for it, saying she still has feelings, but says she still wants to be my friend.
Should i let her be my friend? Considering having female fwb is kinda good, and she can help me hook up with her friends as well, but at same time she's literally draped in red flags. (relationship is wayyyy out of question)
Nah. I would stay away from such situations until you've gained experience with girls. Usually is a waste of time
Bro the entire thread is telling you to move on. Move on mate
Thanks everyone! I have blocked the guy, and told the girl that I need some break from her. I'll focus on my life and other girls for now.
That’s girl sounds completely toxic, be done with her. Regarding the second q, lift weights and take up boxing/ MMA. Seeing as he’s already had one opportunity to slump you I’d say he’s full of shit but good to be cautious I guess.
“Frame” is very hard to apply in real time if it’s not coming from a genuine place. Alex has some good vids on it. Rivelino on Twitter also has some interesting posts, even if he is a bit of a nut - https://mobile.twitter.com/search?q=Alpharivelino%20frame%20control%20pop%20quiz&src=typed_query
