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Hey.
So when quarantine began (around the end of March), I met this girl through Tinder. She is one of these cases where you feel a great compatibility and interest, like most others girls feel bland in comparison.
She showed a really high interest for months, talking about doing a lot of activities together, telling me she has the impression im special and really wants to confirm it, etc. Even asked me directly if I seriously didn't have a girlfriend already.
Sadly, whenever I made plans with her she had a more or less credible and valid excuse, only to at least reschedule. Like finals, being sick and having to make sure it wasn't covid, etc. But it's been like 3 times already and I'm actually surprised it has not died given that is been going on for more than 4 months with no meetup.
Last time she said something along the lines of "Let's meet up at the very moment this finally gets better" and after a dry reply of mine, came up with the excuse that she was sick and didn't want that to sabotage our date.
We have been talking but she has not been explicitly hinting me to ask her out again, yet is sweet in her responses and asks me questions (tho she hasn't said something really really high investment lately like she used to) .
To sum it up. I'm not sure when to ask her out again, I don't know what "when it gets better means", and that didn't even feel like a real reschedule to be honest.
I would have just moved on usually, but she comes off as a really genuine and honest person so I don't want things to go to waste.
I've been thinking about being assertive and texting something along the lines of "Hey because we have been talking for so long and we have not been able to make things happen, I feel like I have to know if we are on the same boat so we don't waste each other's time". But I don't know if that would be a mistake or I could re word it some how.
Maybe I could do some kind of takeaway but don't really know how (so it's clear the ball is in her court)
Anyways, any advice is very welcome. Thanks
Yea I would probably push it a bit more. It has to be contextual though and make sense given the flow of the convo but you definitely don’t wanna be her text buddy either. Post the last few screenshots and I can take a closer look
Any thoughts?
Yes. It definitely does seem like you are her text buddy. I see a lot of engagement on your end. I also don’t see any attempts from you to go for the meet up
The conversation was in Spanish so I translated it.
When context is needed I used asterisks* to help with that.
She has not replied since yesterday.
And as a side note, she has no profile picture right now which could mean
A. She's feeling bad , and I know a lot of girls who delete their profile pics when feeling down, which is dumb but whatever.
B. It doesn't mean anything
C. She deleted me from her contacts. I doubt it but I always get a lil scared when she does that because you never know what's through their minds
Thanks
I had that kind of situation before. I think some girl like this might just be lacking confidence or lowkey depressed trust issues whatever.. can't be sure until see explicitly says.. Could be high work high value girl.. i would go about making an emotional connection and developing trust
I thought about that too. The thing is we have been talking for months now, I don't know how much more trust I can develop without becoming just a text buddy.
have you gotten her number yet or still in tnder?
well, I would pull out. You know not respoding texts the same day, you should "get busy" doing your stuff. The frame that I have improved with, is to reward positive actions, it portrays high value because makes her feel you are selective and she is not your only option. So when she actually comes back for your approval, you reward her with x thing, a beer, netflix and chill, whatever you are into.
On the other hand I would tell you not to think she is special until you actually have had sex. I made that mistake, a lot of knowin each other thought text but in the end nothing happend, but learned form it and I ́m back in game ;)
Ive had her number pretty much since the day we matched, we've been talking through WhatsApp for like 4 months or more.
Yeah I get what you are saying, it's just that with the covid thing and given how not meeting up has become the norm, the usual dynamic of "use the phone just to set dates" seems to be unfit right now.
Without the quarantine thing it would all have been clear long ago
