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Hey guys not sure how to respond.
I went on my first date 2 weeks ago and it actually went decent.
We vibed but i did not escalate or anything since this was my first date ever.
After the date i messaged her and said i had a good time and she responded positively.
We then talked for a bit on Whatsapp and set up a 2nd date.
But on the day of the 2nd date she said she was indirectly in contact with someone who has scabbies (she did not know and they did not have any skin to skin contact).
I had some "similar" skin issue a year and a half ago so i freaked out a bit and rescheduled. She seemed like she did not mind.
So i canceled and told her we should meet later.
Couple days later i setup a cafe date (so i did not need to escalate).
Everything went fine, we vibed similarly (prob less awkward this time).
I sent this a couple hours after the 2nd date:
"""
Hey {insert name}, it was nice meeting you and I had fun.
2 things i want to mention:
Not sure if i mentioned this but i don't have tooo much experience dating, just a couple dates so i am a bit inexperienced and akward here and there. I want to get to know you more personally and not just interest and hobbies lol
The scabies thing is bothering me a bit tbh, the time i had some skin shit ~1.5 years ago was a bit rough, bring a glove or something so i can hold your hand you know what i mean? :)
"""
She hasn't responded yet (has been around a day).
I can see after sending it that it is a bit cringy and she doesn't have an easy way to respond to it.
Is there any way to salvage this?
At the end of the date we hugged and she seemed normal.
I also notice that i am a bit needy since this is the first girl im "going out" with, need to get more experience to fix that.
I am a bit attached but I will be fine if I loose her.
Btw: Kinda glad i actually went on my first few dates, she's pretty and i was not that nervous, pwf helped me a alot.
Congrats on your first date and getting out there, bro!
I would hope it's salvageable but you may have wrote too much for her. Put yourself in her shoes and think how you even reply to that.
First off, don't let a girl know you're inexperienced in any aspect whether that's dating or sex, at least in the beginning stage. Especially sex! She doesn't need to know that, if you end up being bad at the date or sex then so be it! However, that's for her to decide, don't give her any predisposition before the girl can even make her own thought.
If you want to get to know her more personally, then that falls on you! As a guy you have to lead and carry the conversation, sexual tension, physical stuff (for the most part especially if the girl is shy)
For the scabies, I can be an over-thinker as well, but you have to be more smooth and not make them feel bad or like there is something wrong with them. Asking her to bring a glove was wild hahahaha.
First of all good job on going on a date man, the first date is always the hardest, been there myself (everybody has lol)
So some notes, deepending on the girl and how the convo went before meeting, not escalating is fine(As long you have made it dead clear you vibe with her/kissed or other things)
But on a second date you NEED to atleast get physical even if its just a kiss
Regarding you message after the 2nd date, I think that is an incredibly akward msg imo, why are you saying "nice meeting" you on a second date, just why? you have already met before, no?
The way I do it now is, when they leave I tell them to msg me when the get home safe, and if you showed them a good time some will just say "Hey Hansi, Im back home now, Thanks for the date i had so much fun, hope to see you again" or if they don't send something i go "Hey gorgeous, thanks for coming, I had a great time" its okay to use compliments more loosly after a date and show a bit of passion
I don't know what you mean about the skin stuff, if you are scared of catching stuff just bail out bro
So what to do now, the fact the she is ignoring you after 2 dates, thats a pretty bad sign, I would just ignore it and send her a message about something you talked about on your date, should be funny or relevant (wait some days)
Good luck
Yeah bro.. i mean girls want you to escalate on dates.. she's on a date with you for a reason so don't be scared to touch her..
Your message is pretty bad and low value. Girls want guys that know or at least can pretend they know how to date.. and I get you're freaked out about scabies. But you could have just asked... soo are you in the clear with scabies or is our next date going to need sanatizer;)
This is kind of tough but I would probably say something jokey like...
What I was getting at is I want to get to know you better.. I have enough crazy exes and want to make sure you at least key a hearts into my car
I don't really love this message but i can't think of anything.. let the message sit for another day